She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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