Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
