She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
