I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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