Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
