I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
