the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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