oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
