come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
