I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my shit smells like andre
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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