You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
