Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
