wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
