Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
