The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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