He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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