they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
