I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
