He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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