Non-Jews are for practice
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
