idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
