even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
