some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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