You're my little dorito
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
