I'm eating all of the evidence.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
