You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
