Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
