conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
