youre lurking in front of me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
