Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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