Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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