her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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