Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
