Duck Duck Cougar?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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