I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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