During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize