You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
