I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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