Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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