My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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