She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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