I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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