I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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