I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
