He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
