I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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