he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
