it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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