Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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