I will die if light touches me.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
