Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
