I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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