sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
