Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
