I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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