i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I could make wine with my vomit
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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