I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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