Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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