omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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