marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
