I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
