When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
