Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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