i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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