thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
