I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
