i barfeds in our rink
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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