It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
