love makes seman taste better
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
