I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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