Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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