I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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