Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
